This Is Why You Struggle With Consistency

Do you struggle with consistency?

If so, you’re not alone. Consistency is one of my favorite things to talk about because I know how many people struggle with it AND I know one of the biggest factors that stands in the way with you being consistent.

Here it is…

Your definition of consistency includes perfection.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone though. We’re made to believe that in order to be consistent with something… whether it’s a morning routine, an exercise program, a new diet… we have to do it PERFECTLY.

And anything short of perfection is failure.

But, I’d bet you and I would agree that no human being who currently lives on this planet is perfect. So, why do we require perfection of ourselves?

So, Graham, my 1 and a ½ year old, has this little basketball hoop in his room. It’s obviously a super tiny small one where the hoop is right at his level. So, lately we’ve been practicing some basketball together. And it took a little bit for him to get the hang of putting the tiny little basketball in the hoop. But, with just a few times practicing, he got it. It really didn’t take long and now he is a star at getting his little basketball into his little hoop. He gets it almost every time. He’s at the place now where I almost feel like we could get him a basketball hoop that’s a little bigger. Like still kiddy… but just a little taller so that it challenges him some. And I know that if we got that basketball hoop, he probably wouldn’t get it right away, but with some practice he’d be just as good at getting the ball in the hoop as he is at the little hoop he has now.

But, let’s just say I expected him to right off, at 1 and a 1/2 , to be able to shoot a basketball in a standard basketball hoop. He’d probably try once and never again because it’s just soo far out of reach. If that’s how he learned basketball, I doubt he’d ever want to play.

But, by starting off with his little baby net, and then as he grows and gets better we move him up to more and more challenging nets, he’s eventually going to be shooting basketball at the standard hoop and be a pro, right!? Or at least be good.

What am I getting at with this story? When you require perfection of yourself in any area of your life, but for this episode since we talk a lot about food and health, when you expect perfection of how you eat and of your exercise plan, when you go on a diet and require perfection, it’s like setting out to shoot a basketball in a standard net when you’ve never played basketball before. You try and when you fail, it feels like the end. You get discouraged, you feel ashamed because you can’t be consistent. All because your standard is so high for yourself. And I’m not saying to stop trying or have low standards. And, I think we could all agree that as human beings, we are imperfect. No human being that exists on this earth today is perfect. And I’m not saying to stop trying or have low standards. We can desire something great of ourselves without requiring perfection.

I love this quote by Brene’ Brown which says,

“When we choose growth over perfection, we immediately increase our shame resilience. Improvement is a far more realistic goal than perfection. Merely letting go of unattainable goals makes us less susceptible to shame.”

To put it in my own words and apply it here, when you choose growth over perfection with health practices, you’re able to be consistent because you let go of the unattainable goal of perfection.

The number one reason why I see people failing at consistency is that they have this definition of consistency that requires perfection. They set out to do something like have a morning routine and then the day comes where they hit snooze and sleep in too late to have their routine. And that one failure feels like total defeat so they have all these thoughts like “I can’t be consistent”, “I’m a failure”, “I can’t do anything I want to do”.

Or, maybe this relates with you… you set out on a new diet and at first it feels great. You have everything prepared for your meals on Sunday, you don’t eat anything that you’re not supposed to, you go to the gym every single day.

But then, the moment that you “give in” to the cookies in the break room, and then the Oreos in your pantry, and then suddenly the whole bag of chips disappears... it feels like everything is lost, your consistency is gone, and it’s not worth trying anymore. 

You keep going on diet after diet to try and be more consistent. But the thing about diets is they instill in us this belief that we have to be perfect at eating and at exercising. And shame on you if you fail. This literally sets you up to NOT be consistent.

So, today I want to offer something to you in exchange for striving for perfection. What if you went into this area of your relationship with food and exercise with the mindset of growth, not perfection? What if you didn’t see failure as an option, but instead saw everything as an opportunity for growth and learning from yourself and that situation? What if perfection was totally off the table… would you try something new, enjoy life more, give yourself more grace, even be more consistent because you don’t have to be perfect anymore.

So, here’s what I have for you to practice this week when it comes to perfection and consistency. This week I want you to think about the answer to this question…

“What would change in my life if I strived for growth instead of perfection?”

PS: If you want this in podcast form, come check out the Redefining Health Podcast.

Click to listen to this episode on Apple, Spotify, or Google.