Teaching Your Kids How to Eat Intuitively

We are all born intuitive eaters. Our kids are born intuitive eaters. But diet culture, sadly, exists and can influence our kids and their ability to remain intuitive with food. So today I thought we could talk about how to teach your kids to eat intuitively. There are a few big things to remember about kids and eating.#1: Your kids have body wisdom, just like you!#2: Your kids are naturally intuitive eaters. Now, does this mean that you can let your kids have free reign to eat candy all day every day for every meal? No, but we'll talk about where parenting and guidance fits in with protecting your kids intuitive self.I am, by no means, an expert in this area, but I will say I've learned a lot (and already been challenged a lot) through having just an 8-month-old and the process of teaching him to eat. It's been so incredible to see Graham be apart of guiding his own eating and the whole process has confirmed in me that we are all born as intuitive eaters! I will say, also, that I learned a lot through reading the book, "How to Get Your Child to Eat But Not Too Much" by Ellyn Satter. If you're struggling with feeding your child, I highly recommend this and all of her books!Something Ellyn teaches in her books is the concept of the "Division of Responsibility" with feeding children. What this says is you, as the parent, determine the "what", the "when", and the "where" of feeding. Your child, on the other hand, determines the "if" and "how much". So, it's up to you to set the structure for when your child eats, what they eat, and where they are eating but it's up to your child to determine if they're going to eat what you've provided as well as how much they want to eat.What this does is it gives your child the structure that they need with eating and learning to eat, but it also gives them some freedom and autonomy to discover their own hunger and fullness signals.I'll already tell you, this concept has been so helpful for me in just the few short months since starting to introduce Graham to solid foods. He is quite the eater, and often eats way more than I think he "should" eat. But he's never shown signs of eating too much and has been growing at a healthy rate since day 1. Let's talk about what teaching your child to eat looks like at different periods of their life. 

TEACHING YOUR CHILD TO EAT IN THE EARLY YEARS

In the early years, starting at around 6 months, everything you do as far as teaching your child to eat is the foundation they will have for the rest of their lives. This is why I love the Baby Led Feeding/Weaning method because it really does help give the child the autonomy they need to learn and discover food and eating from the start. In the early years, offering different food textures, flavors, and colors is going to help expose your child to a good variety of different foods.From the start, it's important to keep in mind that your child has body wisdom. Like I mentioned above, yes, you are the parent and there is an amount of guiding them with how to eat that is important. They do need some structure. But it's important to know that they can trust their bodies with food just like you or I can. And so, it's important that we allow them to experience that trust. When we try and control our kids eating it can lead to rebellion, the belief that they can't trust themselves, and an overall harder relationship with food.What about with picky eaters? Pretty much every single kid will go through a picky stage. With picky eaters, remember the division of responsibility. And, honestly, here's where some parenting comes into play. Remember, you, as the parent determine the what, when, and where of eating. You can leave the rest up to your child. Something that is helpful, though, is always having at least one food at your meal that you know your child will like. That way, even if they don't like part of the meal, they can still eat what they like. But don't stop giving them those foods that they don't like right now. With time and continued exposure, oftentimes kids will come around to liking those foods that they didn't like. Maybe you even decide to have your child try just one bite of each thing on their plate, but still giving them permission to not eat everything. Something that was really encouraging for me on this topic was seeing an experiment where children were given kale every single day for 15 days. At the beginning they couldn't stand the taste, but by the end they loved it! Kinda cool, right!? I saw a cool video showing this experiment a couple of years ago but, sadly, I can't find it now.In the early years, it's all about structure that still allows your child to practice some autonomy. 

WHAT ABOUT THE TEEN YEARS?

As your child grows older, as with other areas of their life, they are able to have more and more responsibility. And you want this, as a parent. You want to train your child to be able to gradually feel comfortable going out on their own. The same goes with your child and food in the teen years. In the teen years, it can be really tempting to pull back the reigns and control your child's eating, especially when you see them eating bags of chips and candy for lunch and that's it. But again, go back to the two principles at the beginning...your child has body wisdom & your child was born an intuitive eater. It's really important during these years to not cast judgement on your child's eating choices.What you can do, however, is have conversations with your kids about how different foods and ways of eating makes them feel, again without judgement. And as much as you can, have a variety of both nourishing foods as well as "fun" foods that they enjoy in the house. We know that when foods are off limits there's less of a chance that kids will learn to self-regulate with those foods. So having a balance is key! 

FINAL THOUGHTS

It's never too late to begin teaching your kids to eat intuitively. Talk to your kids about the work you're doing with your relationship with food and intuitive eating. The absolute best thing you can do for your kid's relationship with food is to be an example of a healthy relationship with food and your body for them, or growing in a healthy relationship with food and your body. Kids are incredible imitators and learn so much from what we teach them just by watching what we do. So with that, it's also really important to consider how you talk about food, how you eat, and how you talk about your body. Maybe you commit to only having positive conversations about yourself and food in front of your children.But know that sometimes we mess up. And sometimes we'll say things about food or ourselves in front of our kids that we didn't want to say. Have grace for yourself. And use it as a time to talk to your kids and teach them about grace with ourselves and eating. That is the absolute best lesson you could teach your kids. I would love to hear your thoughts and any questions you have on raising intuitive eaters. What's been your experience? What questions do you have?