How to Talk to Your Doctor About Your Missing/Irregular Period

Maybe you had a pretty regular period. And then all of a sudden, it doesn't come one month. Same thing the next month, and the next month. After a couple of months, you probably set up an appointment to talk to your GYN or midwife to see what's going on. I know, first hand, how intimidating it can be to know how to talk to a health care practitioner. And when they ask the question, "Any more questions?", it's easy to say "no"...but then the second you get in the car to leave a floodgate of questions come to your mind.Let's talk about how to talk to your doctor (or any other healthcare practitioner) about your missing period so that you can feel inspired and empowered to be your own advocate. Because, I've said it before, you are the expert on your body. And yes, there are things that you maybe don't know as far as what's actually happening on a diagnosis level. But you have a deep knowledge that only you can have because you reside in your body. So you should feel empowered! But far too often, women don't feel empowered when they talk to their practitioner about what's going on with their periods.I've shared my own story with dealing with (and then healing) hypothalamic amenorrhea which is the loss of a period due to stress of often over-exercising and undereating. But there are other reasons for a missing period (hoping to do some more writing on these other diagnoses in the future). But in this post, I'm hoping to focus on empowering you to be empowered (using that word a lot, I know) so that you can feel more confident stepping into the doctor's office.So, there are a couple of things that will be helpful to know going into your visit.  

1. HOW WAS YOUR CYCLE/PERIOD BEFORE?

Think back to what your cycle and period were like before things stopped. Were your cycles pretty regular? Meaning, were you having a period pretty consistently every 21-35 days. If you were tracking your cycle, which I highly recommend trying by the way, were you consistently ovulating at around day 14 of your cycle? Was your period normal? As in, was it not too heavy, not too light, not too painful, without large clots? If you're not sure, that's ok. But it does help to know 1) what your normal is and 2) whether your normal is in the considered normal and healthy range of a cycle and period. I wrote a post that goes into some signs of your menstrual cycle needing some TLC that may be helpful for you if you're not sure. 

2. WHAT IS EXPECTED OF YOUR CYCLE AT YOUR AGE?

Women's cycles don't actually regulate until we're in our 20's-early/mid 30's. Crazy right!? So knowing this can be helpful because if you're not yet in this age-range and your cycle hasn't normalized yet then it could be that your body still just needs some time. I say this because I've heard so many women who have irregular periods, heavy periods, skip periods, etc go see their doctor and immediately be prescribed birth control. Birth control, in this case, is given for no real medical reason. Again, all your body needs is time.I will put the caveat in that if you haven't yet had a period at all by age 15 then it's important to talk to your doctor about possible reasons why you haven't had a period yet. 

3. HAS ANYTHING CHANGED IN YOUR LIFESTYLE THAT COULD CONTRIBUTE?

With dieting and restricting and an overall obsession with health and thinness on the rise, a common reason among women for a missing or irregular period is due to stress that this lifestyle puts on our bodies. Sometimes what I hear is that someone's taken up running recently or joined a cross-fit gym or maybe started a new diet or cleanse and that can be what leads to an irregular or missing period. Each of us have different tolerances to stress, so we can't compare what someone else can do and still maintain a healthy period to what we can do. But I always say, if you have a change in your cycle it's important to consider your lifestyle lately. So, consider if you are maybe exercising too much, not eating enough, or have other stressors that could be contributing to your missing period. 

4. DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY HISTORY THAT GIVES ANY CLUES TO WHAT COULD BE GOING ON?

Hormonal diagnoses can run in families, so considering whether your mom or grandma may have had irregular periods can help paint a picture of what could possibly be going on. For example, PCOS and endometriosis can run in families. If you're not sure, talk to your mom about whether she's had similar symptoms to you. This can be really helpful, too, going into a visit with your doctor.  So, knowing all of this already can help give you an idea of some of what's going on with your cycle. And having some knowledge before stepping into the office can help you feel a little more empowered, right?A couple of last things to note, on the topic of actually talking to your physician or other practitioner about your irregular period.

• Be wary of a quick "solution" of birth control. I am, by no means, against birth control. But do think that it's often over-prescribed and given for reasons that aren't always helpful. For example, if you have an underlying diagnosis of Hypothalamic Amenorrhea, birth control does nothing except put a bandaid on what's actually happening.
• Don't be afraid to ask questions. A good doctor or health practitioner will take time to ensure that you understand what's going on. Sadly, doctors do feel rushed with patients because they have certain expectations of patient quotas to reach. But it's ok to take a few more moments of their time to ensure you understand what they're saying.
• On the mention of asking questions, write down your questions beforehand. This can be helpful for both the health practitioner as well as for you because you will know exactly what questions you had before you stepped foot into the office. And know that there's no dumb question.
• If your health practitioner does not seem to be aligned with your values, they don't take into consideration that you have knowledge too about what's going on in your body, then consider finding someone else. While there's no perfect health practitioner, some are better than others. And it's ok to find someone who maybe is more suited for you.

 I hope these pointers are helpful and empower you as you and your health practitioner work to get you a healthy cycle back! Let me know what helps and any other questions you have in the comments below!