Pregnancy Update-- 5 Weeks to Go!
Hey there!I can't even believe this but I am just 5 weeks away from due (more like guess) date. I think back to the day I took that first pregnancy test back in June 2019. And though that sometimes feels like it was forever ago, I still can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone overall. I was sitting on our couch this morning and thought to myself...this baby is going to come in just a few, short weeks and our lives are going to forever be changed.As I was envisioning what life will be like after baby, I caught myself saying inwardly that my identity is going to all of a sudden change. And yes, I'm going to have a new "label" as a mom. But I reminded myself just as quickly as this first thought came into my head that I'm still going to be me. Even when my priorities may shift around a little here and there and each day has new "to-dos" that involve raising a little boy, I can still be me. In fact, it's important to still remember who I am. My identity does not rest solely in being a mom. Being a mom is going to add to my life in ways I'm not quite sure of quite yet, but it is not my whole identity. Just thought I'd share these thoughts with you this morning because same goes for you, whether you're a mom or going to be a mom or not thinking about being a mom at all right now. Your identity is more than the labels you have. Your identity is more than what you do every day.
AM I READY?
I've been asked this question a lot in the last few weeks. And always asked this question after someone first asks when I'm due and I tell them February. They proceed to say, "Oh, that's soon!". And then it hits me, YES IT IS SOON, ISN'T IT? And no matter how often I get this response, I'm still shocked each time someone says it's soon because...like I said, this pregnancy has gone so fast!So am I ready...I'd say, yes. But by yes I definitely don't mean I don't have a lot of questions still for what life's going to look like post-baby. Nope. I've said, life after baby feels like a black hole. I've always felt I have at least somewhat of an idea of what my future looks like with different things in my life. Or, at least, I have a thought of what life may be like and even though things in my life don't always go as I planned them out in my mind I have something I envision when I think about the future.But this, it looks like a black hole. And at first that was a bit scary. I really love to plan and dream about my future. And to not really be able to do that as vividly as I usually do was a bit uncomfortable. But it's gradually been something that I've just accepted...I will not know what life's going to look like until I'm in the thick of it. And that's become ok!I am ready in the sense that I feel as prepared as I can be without feeling too prepared to where I feel overwhelmed. I'm resting and at peace with the fact that I've been caring for my baby and caring for my own body in ways that have felt good for me these last 8 months. I feel ready in that I've been preparing my mind for things to go as God intends them to go. And I'm ready because I know that whatever circumstances come my way as a new mom I am well equipped to handle them.So yes, I'm ready! I'm ready and so excited... I can't even fully express how excited I am...to meet this little one who's been giving me love kicks all day and hiccupping and stretching as he grows too big for this space he's in. I'm ready!
DO WE HAVE A NAME YET?
Short answer...NOPE. Long answer, we've got a shortlist of about 5 or so names that we like and we've decided to just wait until we see his beautiful little face before we name him. I, personally, like classic yet not too overused names. Anyways, you and I both have to wait and see what this little one's name is going to be!
HOW AM I FEELING?
Overall, I'm feeling so blessed to still feel pretty good! I have the expected pelvic pain just from so much weight being carried right now and then the regular urges to pee all the time. I've also had a weird pain/numbness at the top of my belly that it seems is related to, again, pressure from my uterus maybe hitting a nerve.But overall, feeling good and I'm so grateful. I've been able to continue teaching at my local Barre3 studio up until this week. I decided to take a month to focus more on resting my body, but I'm surely going to miss my wonderful clients who've been with me since the start of this pregnancy.Sleeping's still been pretty good. One lifesaver has been my body pillow right now. Having my leg propped up a little feels so good on my hips. Only downside is it's really hard to get out of bed with it on the outer side of the bed.And lastly, heartburn has definitely set in. I'm hungry all the time, but have found that eating a bunch feels so uncomfortable...this stomach is so squooshed! Tums and some apple cider vinegar in water has been my best friend, for sure!
HOW AM I FEELING ABOUT NON-MEDICATED BIRTH?
Honestly, pretty good! Again, it's one of those things I don't quite know because I've never experienced the pain of labor. But I feel, again, at peace with it. I wrote a whole blog post dedicated to how I've been preparing for a natural labor so if you want to check that out, it's here for you. But I'd say, something that's helped lately has been watching birth videos and hearing positive birth stories. Paul and I've been going through Mama Natural's Natural Birth Course which has been so good and insightful, even for someone who worked in Labor & Delivery. I've had a phrase/mantra that I've been saying over and over to myself when I feel slightly nervous about the process...Many women have done this before me. Another phrase that has helped with any fear of pain that I experience is that the pain of labor is not a bad pain or a pain of things going wrong, but of transformation (from the book, Mindful Birthing). Thank you to all of you who have given me suggestions for how to prepare and have offered encouragement to me throughout this pregnancy! I'm so grateful for you! And I've loved sharing some of what life's been like these last 8 months.Almost there!