Why Intuitive Eating is Tough, But Worth It!
Hey you! I've had it on my heart to do a post talking about some of the tough things with intuitive eating. Because, when you re-learn to listen to your body after sometimes years of dieting or suppressing acknowledging sensations in your body, it's going to take time. And it's going to be tough. Sometimes it brings up things you didn't know existed. And sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable. It's hard work, re-training yourself to trust your body and let go of comfortable rules that have been your guide for eating for a bunch of your life.
But it's so worth it!I'm writing this post to encourage you. Because if you haven't experienced it yet, you will! The journey is lots of highs and lows, mountains and valleys. But to live without being tied to yet another diet, or another day of feeling inadequate, letting your anxiety around food take you captive and keep you from fully being present...that is what makes all of the work, all of the tears, all of the frustration, better. Trust me, dear friend! And know you don't have to go this journey alone.I wanted to share a few things with you that are difficult but normal when you're working on being more of an intuitive eater, with the hope that you'll be encouraged and empowered to keep pushing forward. Again, know you're not alone!Here we go...
1. Letting go of rules is tough.
Like I said, after sometimes years of using outward cues like gleaning info about how to eat through counting calories, or eating at restricted times during the day, or not letting yourself eat what you're actually craving due to food rules, it's tough to get away from these cues because they bring a feeling of protection. You feel safe by following your certain diet. You feel that you're in control. But what you know from experience is that these rules gave false promise of safety and false feelings of control. The reality is that your feeling safe has prevented you from living your life fully and that as soon as your body's physiological drive to no longer be restricted kicks in you suddenly lose control around food.
Becoming an intuitive eater requires that you get rid of rules that you have in place about eating. And though this may feel like you'll be giving up control and safety, I promise that soon, through the process of learning to trust your body again, you will discover that you don't have to fear your body and that true safety and true control comes through inviting the gray space into your diet, allowing yourself to eat all foods freely that make you happy and bring you joy. That through tuning into your hunger and honoring it instead of suppressing it because it's not yet time to eat and you're confused why you should be so hungry and shame yourself for not being able to go further between meals, that only then will you feel in control and empowered in your body. You are in control. Food does not control you. This is possible.
2. You may naturally go through a phase of eating more and eating more "junk" foods...this is OK!
This is really tough...and something that can really get people discouraged. It's normal to go through a phase of maybe eating too much and feeling uncomfortable and/or eating more "junk" foods after you've let go of the rules you had around eating. I don't usually use the word "junk" food, but think of this as any of the foods that you restricted but longed to try when you were dieting. As you let go of these rules you had in place around eating, your body's natural response may be to fully embrace this freedom and even go a little further, feeling a little uncontrolled around food that you'd restricted in the past. Let yourself go through this phase without judgment. What will happen is as you prove to yourself and your body that you aren't restricting, you will start to notice foods that you'd placed as off limits yet wanted to try and now finally are eating without judgment aren't actually as enjoyable as you once thought they would be. You don't enjoy them like you imagined. Maybe some things, though, you really do enjoy, but with time and with approaching this phase with curiosity as opposed to judgment you will find what amount feels good for you.
What to do with this? Work on separating your judgemental self and your nurturing self. Your tendency may be to pour judgment on yourself and shame yourself for eating foods and amounts that you never allowed yourself to experience before OR always was associated with failing. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FAILURE HERE! Know this! Everything is about learning about your body and building up this trust. Take it as an opportunity to tune inward and ask hard questions. Don't worry, you'll get through it and be stronger because of this!
3. You may not love the body you're meant to have.
Oh friend, if you resonate with this I empathize with you. Because this is probably the hardest thing about intuitive eating. My heart is heavy for you because I know that our culture, our society, does not give mercy for not having a body that meets its standard of what beauty is. Hear this... they're wrong about beauty. You are beautiful no matter your size, shape, appearance. But I know that this is so hard to grasp.
The thing with intuitive eating is weight is kept on the back burner throughout your time learning to tune into your body. The reason for this is that if you were to add weighing yourself into trying to listen to your body, it would compromise your ability to tune inward. Weight, as a number and an outward cue, can interfere with you trusting your body. If in the process you stepped onto the scale and weighed more than you maybe thought you should, this most likely will interfere with you listening to and honoring your hunger. Or you may get frustrated and give up entirely and find yourself binging to feel better. That being said, though, we oftentimes have in our heads a size or body that we think we should have. But ultimately it is not up to us. We do not determine our set point weight. There are a whole lot of other factors besides those we can control that lend to determining our weight and size. So know this...yes, you may not initially or ever love the body you have. But you can, no matter what, have a loving relationship with your body and one that cares for and respects your body. This is possible at any and all body sizes. It's ok if you have to grieve this picture in your head of what your body should look like or maybe even where you've been before but you now know would not be healthy to go to again. But don't stop here. Keep an open heart towards exploring what a loving relationship looks like for you where you're at right now, today.
With all of this, I promise that eating intuitively is going to be the best thing you ever decided to learn how to do. Because this is how you were made to eat and are made to eat. And the freedom to have peace with food and spend mental energy that you previously spent on worrying about food can now be put to all the things and people you truly love in your life. What's been tough for you with intuitive eating? What do you maybe not understand fully? I'd love to hear from you!