Identity Crisis After Disordered Eating & Finding Your New Self

Good morning loves! I'm so ready to share this post with you on how to wade through the waters of identity crisis after an eating disorder and/or disordered eating. Even though my eating disorder is years past, and each day I practice intuitive eating makes it seem more and more foreign to me, there are still things I'm learning even now, things that those years of restricting food and obsessing over controlling my body are still teaching me. And through going through this identity crisis, myself, I want to share with you what it looks like to come through and own this new self with confidence and pride!

Ok, back up a little...if you haven't yet read my story with disordered eating, I'm open and willing to share! Because sharing my story may help you realize that you are not alone! That is my hope.I've been in recovery from 8 years of disordered eating for quite some time now. I sometimes forget what it even was like to go through each day with anxiety around food and fear of my body changing. I'm so grateful for that.

But as I mentioned, there are things I'm always learning about myself and things that relate back to my eating disorder that I still work through. These things are so different, and honestly, I'm so grateful for the ability to always be learning more about myself and my body.One thing I've been learning over, I'd say, the last couple of years is what it looks like to be living in this new mindset AND this new body. Since changing my relationship with food, embracing intuitive eating, and learning wellness through self-care, my body has changed and my mindset has changed. Sometimes it can feel like I'm so far removed from my past self that I feel like a totally different person.

But different doesn't always mean bad. You can feel like a different person in certain aspects of your life but still be YOU!

So I've been learning, and want to encourage you to open your mind to learning for yourself, that you will never be stagnant. Your body will change over your lifespan. Your mind will change. Your likes and dislikes will change. Change is good. Change oftentimes means that you are growing, challenging yourself, being made to be who you were called to be.

But during these changes, and in this transition period you may be going through with learning to tune into your body, trust your intuition with not just food but with all things in your life, and with becoming you post-disordered eating, you may feel like you're not sure who you are anymore...hence the identity crisis post disordered eating. I want you to know that this is normal. This time is good. This time can be cherished as you get to know you again.So for me, I always saw myself as the "fit-girl", the "runner", the "perfect eater" because that's who people told me I was for so long. They didn't know that these labels were the strings I used to try and control every movement of my life. I had the misconception that these labels were my identity, my confidence, what made me...me.

So then, when I came to the realization that I no longer wanted to live each day being controlled by food and this mindset of perfection, I had to get rid of these labels being what defined me. I had to discover who I am without my disordered eating. I had to wade through uncertainty and discover where my confidence really comes from.

I know that this concept, needing to give up your old identities and find yourself again, can be a scary thing! If you feel stuck right now because you're scared of who you'll be without them, I want to encourage you to find other identities that you can start to embrace as you transition out of disordered eating.Here are some ideas of new perspectives to take on as you discover your identity... 

Your strength doesn't only comes from physical workouts.Your confidence doesn't have to lie in perfection.You can embrace mess and find the beauty in it.You are your best self when not controlled by food or a number on the scale.Fear is not a sign you should turn back, but a sign of being on the brink of new growth. 

I hope you are encouraged and enlightened to embrace your new self in life after disordered eating. Or if you're feeling held back by the fear of an identity crisis with taking on intuitive eating, know that just because you feel different doesn't mean you are any less your beautiful self! I feel a deep breath is in order right here...inhale and take in all that you hope for yourself...exhale and release your fears and insecurities. 

What can you do today to move past insecurity and embrace your new self? What new identity can you own today as a replacement for your disordered identity?