My Birth Story

Graham is almost 3 months old now...crazy how time flies. Apparently we've just finished what's referred to as the "4th Trimester". And I would most definitely agree with what people have said...the 4th trimester is the hardest. But it's one of those "hard but good" things.I finally got my hands on my journal where I'd written down my birth story and wanted to share it with you guys. I know when I was pregnant and even before I was pregnant I really enjoyed reading other people's stories. While I was pregnant, especially, I felt that it helped paint a picture for what everything *could* be like. And though I know, and now experienced, that no one's labor and birth story is the same, I hope you enjoy reading mine!My birth story is a story of support.I chose to think of Graham's birth with this word, support, just a few days after he was born because if I could only use one word to describe the time I was in labor, that word would be support.I literally couldn't have done what I did without the support of some very amazing people. First, my husband. Then, my mom who originally we thought wasn't going to be able to be there at delivery. And last but not least, our doula, Kelsi.Ok, here is my story.I went into labor on February 13th, 2020. This was 3 days after my due date. Like I mentioned, my mom wasn't originally going to be with us...we thought it'd be better to call her as soon as I went into labor because she was in South Carolina and we were in New York. We had a super small one bedroom apartment and it would be too small to house all of us. So that was the original plan.But then, on the week of my due date I was getting a little lonely to be honest. I'd been off work for a week already and my husband, Paul, was in school. So I called my mom and asked her to go ahead and come up. We felt like I'd go into labor pretty soon, anyway.It turned out to be a really good thing that my mom came up when she did. She flew into Laguardia airport in NYC the next day and when I picked her up I told her Paul had started feeling like he had the flu. I really didn't think he ACTUALLY had the flu, but when he got tested later that morning, sure enough, it was positive. So mom was there, thankfully, helping take care of him and me while also trying to ensure I didn't get sick. By God's grace Paul was totally better in only 3 days...the day I went into labor.So that day, February 13th, mom had it in her to "induce me" naturally. The day started out like normal. I'd been having some tiny contractions for over a week already but nothing intense. They just felt like a tiny squeeze and pressure in my lower abdomen and pelvic area and typically had been starting in the afternoon/evening. But on this particular day, they started a little earlier in the morning. Also, maybe this is crazy, but it seemed like my dog, Sadie, knew I'd be going into labor on this day too! She all of a sudden was acting weird. I remember thinking to myself, maybe today's the day!The plan was that I was going to take an ounce of castor oil in a smoothie and see if that would start contractions. I'd done a lot of research on using castor oil and had gotten the OK from my midwife that it would be safe to try. So I made a smoothie with berries, banana, pineapple, and peanut butter (hoping the oil in PB would mask the castor oil). It actually wasn't too terrible and even though a very common side effect of castor oil is diarrhea, I was totally fine.We then decided to go to the mall and walk since it was dreary and rainy outside. And at the mall, we walked...and walked...and walked. We walked for, I want to say, 4 hours! We ate lunch at around 2 and shortly after that, the contractions I'd been feeling started to feel a little more intense. We started to time them and they were coming about every 5-8 minutes but I still was able to walk and talk through them. At around 4:00 we left the mall and headed home.I wasn't feeling too great by this point, but just tried to carry on like normal and ignore contractions. I helped my mom make dinner which was some lasagna and salad. By the time we ate I wasn't really hungry, but knew that this could possibly be the last time I ate for a while so I forced myself to eat some.Then, Paul and I watched some Seinfeld on the couch and just tried to relax. My mom left and went to her hotel and we told her we'd call her when we headed to the hospital. By this time contractions were feeling a bit more intense, so I called my midwives just to tell them I thought tonight would be the night. The midwife on call recommended I get in the bath and see if that slowed down or stopped contractions so I could get some rest. The bath felt good, but the contractions kept hanging around. Paul and I went to bed, hoping to sleep some before labor really kicked in.I only slept for about an hour before being woken up by more intense contractions. This was around 10 PM. We headed back to the living room and watched some more Seinfeld to keep the mood light and my mind off the pain.At around 1 AM on Friday, 2/14, Paul called our doula, Kelsi. Kelsi came over to our apartment and sat with us and helped recommend things for me to do like bounce on our exercise ball, take a shower, she set up my affirmation cards and kept the mood really calm with candles.Around 5 AM we decided to head to the hospital, thinking it may be near time. When we got there, I was placed in a triage room and my midwife checked my cervix and I was 3 cm and 80% effaced. So, though I was not too dilated, I knew that things could still go quickly because my cervix was pretty thin. We were given the option to go back home and try to keep laboring at home, but we decided to stay and labor at the hospital.We were given a room where I labored for a while. My mom came at around noon, at this time I'd just moved into the bath jacuzzi in our room and was laboring there. I had intermittent monitoring of the baby's heartbeat which was nice because I was able to move around the room. I was checked again at 4 PM and had progressed to just 4 cm.This is where, to be honest, I got pretty discouraged. I had been in labor for over 24 hours at this point and thought I had reached my max. My body had been shaking with adrenaline coursing through my muscles all day and couldn't think of going any longer. I was having a really hard time staying relaxed, even though in my head I knew that would help me progress.Thankfully, at this point, Paul asked my midwife if there was anything that they could give to help me sleep a little. She offered me something that was a combo of a medicine called Stadol and Phenergan that would help me relax and sleep for a short amount of time but wouldn't be permanent. This was THE BEST decision we made together because I was able to sleep for about 2 hours and rest while I was still contracting and dilating. After 2 hours I woke up and was able to keep going with more strength.One of the negatives of the medication was that it spaced out my contractions, so I ended up getting just a small amount of Pitocin to get things back and running.Around 9:30 pm or so I reached 9.5 cm and started to feel the urge to push. This intensity was so crazy! I was doing everything in my power to not push because I wasn't fully dilating. Breathing big and slow and using "horse lips" really helped. I was pretty out of it still at this point from the medication I'd received, but I remember hearing that a new midwife was switching off with the one who had been caring for me all day.After just a few minutes, I finally reached 10 cm and was excited and ready to push! Pushing felt so good after having to hold back for a while and after working so hard in labor for this long. I only pushed maybe 5 times before he started to crown because he was so low. Soon his head came out, then his shoulders and body. They placed him on my belly and I heard Grahams little cry for the first time.I hope I never forget what that little cry sounded like. It was magical!After letting his cord finish pulsating, Paul cut it and they kept Graham on my belly. I don't know if you've heard of this before, but I had learned about this crazy instinct that babies have when they're first born to actually crawl up towards your breast and latch on and start nursing right away! So I wanted to give this a try. It took Graham about 45 minutes or so to crawl with his little legs up my belly and my chest, and then he lifted up his head and plopped it right down on my nipple and started feeding! IT. WAS. THE. COOLEST. THING. I'VE. EVER. EXPERIENCED!What a crazy experience. 36 hours of hard work paid off with this beautiful little boy who we'd only come to know by his kicks and hiccups when he was inside of me, we now were excited to get to know him here and watch him grow. Giving birth was the hardest thing, the most difficult thing I've ever done and that Paul and I've ever done together. I had no idea how things were going to go, none of us do. But I'm oh so grateful for the support that I had through it all. Like I said at the beginning, I couldn't have done it without these people.Motherhood has been so wonderful. I know we all have our different difficulties, but if there's one thing I have come to realize and experience, it's the amazing web of support that we have with each other.