Choosing Freedom Over Fear With Food
Freedom over fear.Why are we so much easier conditioned towards fear than freedom? To be free sometimes just doesn't feel right. When we are free we're always wondering what's wrong. Because freedom is so foreign to our nature sometimes. We fight to have rules in place because we feel that rules are our way to safety. But what we neglect to realize is that our souls long for freedom! And only when we can let go of fear and choose to be free will we be able to embrace our true and most whole selves. Let's talk about that for a bit...
Rules don't protect you when it comes to food.
I know you think they do, but say it with me..."rules don't protect me with food." If you're like me, you've grown up being told things like, "you can't trust your body" and "you have to watch your weight". So honey, I totally understand wanting to place rules for yourself around eating. But, rules actually aren't a good thing when it comes to food and eating. Saying things like, "I can only have 1 brownie or 1 slice of pizza is only going to make the inner rebel in all of us come out! Instantly, in that moment that you say that rule either out loud or even just in your head, you're showing that you don't trust your body.
I don't know if you were like this as a teenager, but aren't teenage years like the epitome of rebellion? Actually, I can't 100% relate to that because I was such a rule follower as a teenager and feel more rebellious now in my 20's than I did in my teens. Buuuttt, you get the idea because you've seen those people. They grow up with so many rules from parents and teachers and so on that their natural instinct is to do the exact opposite. Actually, my sister is like that a little and we joke that if I want her to do something I should suggest the thing I don't want her to do and she'll end up doing what I want instead. Cruel joke, I know.
But all that to say, we all have inner rebels. And it's just a matter of time before the inner rebel rebels and all hope is lost with any control around food. If you struggle with binging, this may be the reason. Rules may make you feel safe. But they aren't safe.Even if you don't struggle with binging, but you've got these rules in place that obsess your every thought around food and eating and have a hard time thinking about eating a food that's "not safe" without having anxiety about it, hear me out. These rules take up precious brain space. Space that you can use to do other things you love, space that helps you tend to the needs of others, space that lets you just be you. Space that allows you freedom.
Letting go of rules is tough, I know. I had my set of rules around eating that helped me feel safe. But what I learned in those 8+ years of fearing food was that I don't want to live like that forever. I don't want to go every day of my life worrying about what I'm going to eat or whether a food is going to make me fat (which, no one food will make you fat if you have a healthy relationship with food) or if I'm going to be able to exercise off the dessert I had the night before. I thought rules lead to freedom. But rules with eating are the very opposite of living freely.
Why even bother with freedom?
I know I was a doubter. I was like, "Why even bother? It's too difficult to let go of my 'safe' rules and too scary!" Freedom around food, if you've never experienced it, is something that you can't give up once you've decided to not follow diets or restrict foods again. And maybe you've never known what freedom with food was. Maybe you grew up in a home where your mom or dad or whomever told you you could only eat certain foods that were "healthy". Maybe you just gathered from adult conversations that certain foods were "good" and others were "bad" and that you, therefore, were "bad" if you ate "bad" foods. Maybe all of these rules with eating just fell in your lap and you started to implement them because that's what all your friends were doing and our culture expects women to always choose the salad over the burger.
Freedom is scary, but just at first.
I know you may be thinking, "But if I allow myself to eat freely I'm going to eat the whole carton of ice cream!". Yes, that may be true at first. You may have to go through a period of letting your body know that it's safe and it's not going to diet and restrict calories again and part of that process is allowing yourself full freedom which, if that's foreign, may take time to prove. But, it'll only be for a season. So give yourself grace to learn through the process of breaking down food rules and allowing yourself to eat all the foods with a curious and learning mindset. Instead of saying, "Oh crap, I shouldn't have eaten all of that," say "Ok, I ate more than I probably should have, but I can learn from this and next time be more mindful as I'm eating." It's a scary process at first, no doubt! But totally and 100% possible to get through if you can remember that it's only a short time before you'll be able to eat freely, anything your heart desires, in an amount that feels good to you.
Embracing freedom over fear.
At first, keeping your rules and fear around food may be easier than embracing freedom. But getting through the scary parts brings you to a life where you're able to eat and move and wake up every morning feeling more alive and more grounded in your true person! For years I lived under the misconception that healthy meant keeping your rules close to you and any "unhealthy" foods far, far away. But I told you what that did. Freedom, though, lets me find true and lasting joy in my body! And it will for you, too!
Our bodies weren't meant to be chained to rules around food. Our bodies were made to be free! It feels wrong only because our society makes it seem wrong. It makes us believe that the more rules the better and healthier you are. But ask anyone, and maybe even ask yourself, if the rules make you happier, more joyful, more fulfilled.They'd say a big, fat no.Choose freedom, dear one.Choose joy!
Choose satisfaction in who you are right now!
Choose confidence!
Choose self care!
Choose relationships!
Choose the hobby you've neglected!
Choose to be still!
Choose peace!
Choose contentment!
Choose FREEDOM.
Download your free phone wallpaper to help you remember to choose freedom!
I can't not mention in this post on freedom where my freedom comes from. To me, freedom is found in my belief of a Savior who rescued me from a life of rules and restrictions, from an endless striving for perfection, from a life in chains to the diet culture. This verse really inspired me in my own recovery from disordered eating and a disordered mindset around food and I hope it brings you some peace as well..."So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." -John 8:36You are free indeed!
Let's talk...
What's holding you back from embracing a life of freedom around food?What scares you about letting go of rules?